Obnoxious Movie Goers

Sometimes I really do hate venturing out to watch a movie in the theater. I mean, despite appearances, I’m by far not antisocial….I actually do enjoy the occasional quip from an audience member, especially one that’s genuinely spur of the moment, witty and timed well. And I certainly don’t begrudge all the popcorn eating and the like, but there is something to say about having manners in general while one is out in the theater. And quite frankly if you don’t got them THEN JUST STAY HOME!!!

A case in point was when I went to watch Sin City last week. Initially, with exception of a another fellow four seats to my right, I had the entire row to myself 8 rows up from the front. Great center view and no B.S. Then slowly the theater started to fill up (naturally) and as it turns out by the time the movie started I had no one’s big head in my way, nor anyone sitting directly next to me on my left or right. Awesome right?! WRONG!!! It just so happens that the two ass-clowns closet to me (left and right respectively) had something specially annoying to offer the causal movie attendee.

The first dude, on my right, was the most bearable. All he simply did to annoy the crap out of people was to breathe. LITERALLY! You’d swear by his snoring that he was sound asleep. For most of the 2-hour duration of the movie I had to resist the urge to shove my socks into Darth Vader’s mouth. But lucky for him there was an even more irritating individual to my left who occupied most of my scorn throughout the film.

Very simply, chump #2 was a straight up slob. You’d never guess it from his appearance, but not only did this jerk manage to find something to eat throughout the entire movie, but he was also throwing his garbage all over the floor, things like ketchup packets, wrappers, and seed shells just to name a few. Now I know “this is what usually happens in a movie theater” but this guy was exceptional in that he was throwing his crap over at me!!! There is an open space between us, stadium seating, why the hell is your trash coming even remotely near me!? You’d think considering that he had a plastic bag with him he’d use that to store all of his waste in, even if he intended to leave it under the seat prior to vacating, but NOOOOOOO my man had to randomly throw junk around himself and narrowly miss people, mostly me. And this dude was in his forties, surely he knows better I’m thinking?! But along with this he laughed & chewed obxoiously loud and finally, after about an hour of all of this I just snapped and quietly mentioned to him that if one more piece of garbage comes my way I’m gonna get pig-nasty on his azz! He seemed to tone it down for the rest of the show after that remark.

*ugh*

In spite of all of that nonsense, I did enjoy the movie itself and I want to go watch it again….preferably where it will be low-key and distraction free….probably a late show on a Monday night. If you ever felt burnt by your movie-going experience then I think you could relate to some of this.

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